What I've Been Reading: Alice Oseman
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It first started when Manon answered a “describe me with three fictional characters” on my twitter.
She said I reminded her of Charlie from heartstopper/solitaire. I had no idea who he was. She told me he was cute, gay, kinda sassy, and tends to put others before himself.
If you know me a tiny bit, you know it’s actually how I mostly am. So I started reading heartstopper to get to know Charlie. Then I read Solitaire and its two novellas. And I’m still impressed at how much like Charlie I am.
I’ve been struggling with keeping my weight in check for years, and have a psychiatrist specialized in anorexia to be sure I don’t fall into it.
I’ve been suffering from depression for years. I’m doing better. It’s still hard though. And here we have Charlie, who’s a younger version of me. Literally. Struggling with mental illness and people not understanding it.
I wish I could talk to him. Tell him he’ll be okay someday, that people are stupid anyway and that he should stick with the ones who get it.
I’ve actually read Solitaire during my first stay in the hospital. I read it in maybe eight hours? Ten tops. It was during the worst part of my illness. I don’t have a really nice memory of it, mainly because Tory’s still going through some stuff at the end, and my ill brain needed an happy ending.
I’ve picked it up again a few weeks ago. And I loved it. I could see everything my younger, less used to illness brain refused to accept five years ago. (Or was it four?)
Tory is so much like the person I was when I first read the book. She’s a younger version of me that I want to protect with all I have.
I mainly want to thank Alice Oseman, for creating this universe and these characters. It feels a bit like they’re my friends now, because of how attached to them I am.
It made it to my favorite books list. I loved all the characters so much. I can’t explain it.
Part of my illness was school induced and I wish I had someone back then telling me what Radio Silence says. It’s okay not to know what to do with your life. It’s okay not wanting to go to university.
There’s tons of things to do and you will find what yours is. It took me years, but I finally did.
I really want to thank Manon for bringing Charlie into my life. I rely and relate on this lil guy a lot. I, like him, love too much. But that’s okay. That’s who we are.
For this article to be complete, I need to talk about I Was Born For This.
This book was, like every books Alice wrote, saying something I needed to hear.
A few weeks ago, I saw my favorite band live. And I was disappointed, because I didn’t feel as happy as I used to when seeing them. I couldn’t grasp why I was that sad. Alice’s words helped me understand why.
I relate a lot to Angel, in the way she is with The Ark.
But I also relate a lot to Jimmy, because of all his anxiety problems, and his
This book was, like every books Alice wrote, saying something I needed to hear.
A few weeks ago, I saw my favorite band live. And I was disappointed, because I didn’t feel as happy as I used to when seeing them. I couldn’t grasp why I was that sad. Alice’s words helped me understand why.
I relate a lot to Angel, in the way she is with The Ark.
But I also relate a lot to Jimmy, because of all his anxiety problems, and his
dissociation (is that a word?). I go through stuff like this a lot too.
I Was Born For This was the book I’ve always needed. It’s finally having words to put on what being a fan is.
I Was Born For This was the book I’ve always needed. It’s finally having words to put on what being a fan is.
Love,
Ams xx
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